An interplanetary, monstrous plant-like being known as the “Sarlacc” has been reduced to seducing victims using a popular mobile app. Sources indicate that the flesh-devouring behemoth has lured many players of the ubiquitous “Pokémon Go” app into its grasp, fooling users to thinking a rare Pokémon character is up for grabs.
A recent victim appears to be local mercenary Boba Fett, who was able to escape after a prolonged time in the acidic digestive system of the Sarlacc.
“I was hanging out with Jaba in the middle of the Dune Sea of Tatooine, when an Articuno Pokemon appeared on my phone,” said Fett. “Next thing I know, I’m being pulled into this gargantuan hell hole by these slimy tentacles. Believe me when I tell you, that is not a great experience.”
And while mortality rates are very high once a being is trapped by a Sarlacc, Fett was one of the few survivors to tell his tale. “I was able to sneak out when a Tuscan Raider fell into the trap looking for a Zapdos. What a fool…everyone knows the Zapdos are city dwelling Pokemon!”